A Few Thoughts on Evil, Tragedy and the

"Why" Questions that Have No Satisfying Answers

Miscarriages, Suicides, Gang Initiations involving the rape of an 85-year old woman, Child Abuse, Deadly Car Accidents, Kids with Cancer...this list could go on and on. I'm mentioning here only the things I've personally encountered in my first few years of ministry.

And then there's the inevitable question - "Why, God, why?" I can give the neat, theological answer, i.e. we live in a fallen world where evil is a reality and God did do something about it when he sent Jesus Christ to die so that we have a way back to God and have ultimate victory over sin and death. I could talk about the work of redemption that we get to be part of and how Paul says in Romans 8 that though we groan now we also wait patiently for the hope we have in a future that will exceedingly diminish our present sufferings. There's nothing shallow about those answers, and yet they don't satisfy the gut-wrenching agony when terrible things happen, especially to someone we know and love, especially when they happen to us.

So what do we do with our anger? What do we do with our confusion? What do we do with our hurt?

If we follow the lead of the psalmists, we take them straight to God. So many of the Psalms are cursing songs and songs of anger, songs of lament, they are the cries of people living in a broken world who know their pain is real and they express it passionately to God, the One who loves them, the One whose heart breaks with them and for them.

So, I guess what I'm saying is feel what you feel and put those feelings honestly before God. Don't tidy up your conversations with God, He already knows your heart. And definitely don't stop talking to God altogether - let Him hold you, even and especially when you're kicking and screaming.

After the Message

Every vacation, every retreat, every worship experience inevitably comes to an end…then what?

In our encounters with God, do we become like the people who are always living for their next vacation?

Our encounter with God isn’t meant to be an every-now-an-then event – it’s an everyday relationship

Psalms – written by people who understood that God was part of their every moment and their every day

Talking to God from the slimy pit, the mountain top, an understanding that the earth is the Lord’s and everything in it

Psalm 139:1-10

vv. 7-10 – there isn’t anywhere we can go where God isn’t already there

My vacation with my family is over, it’s a once-a-year opportunity to be together, catch-up, enjoy each other separated from the schedules and demands of the everyday, but still we go back to the everyday yet we don’t forget each other – I call my mom everyday

How often are you calling on God? How much of your everyday does God get to be part of?

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

You know those essays you had to write the first week back to school in your elementary years...what you did on your summer vacation? Well, unlike the elementary school days when summer vacation lasted two and a half months, summer vacation was only a week this year, specifically, this past

week, and it was awesome! Here's what I did and what I learned...

- I went to Holden Beach, NC with Clark, Jacob, my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, my nieces and my nephew (sometimes

the be

st vacations aren't about r&r, they're about the pure joy of spending time with the people you love, even when they're 6, 3, 2 and 17 months and have endless energy that starts before 6:30 every morning :)

- I surfed with a bogey board, a raft and just me - the raft got me the farthest (not sure that there's a deep life lesson here, just fact)

- We made homemade ice cream and I remembered being a kid and how long it would take for the ice cream to be finished and the almost unbearable anticipation. But, I also remembered how worth the wait homemade ice cream is (this one's obvious, folks, good things come to those who wait, Is. 40:31)

- my niece Liza and my mom re-taught me how to play "go fish" (when you need something, just ask - the worst someone can tell you is no, or go fish)

- the joy of the Lord should make you want to jump, jump, jump, move, move, move and raise the roof, roof, roof (my niece Ruthie learned this at VBS the week before comi

ng to the beach and spent every evening entertaining us by singing this song and dancing around the house - a not so subtle reminder to

live with joy)

- last year we found tons of awesome shells in the water, including multiple conch shells and whole sand dollars, this year I found none (you don't always get what you want)

- I exercised every day, ate twice as much as I usually eat and thoroughly enjoyed both activities (taste and see that the Lord is good, Ps. 34:8)

- there's so much more, but I'll stop for now - what did you do and what did you learn on your summer vacation, chime in and let me know...

Where Did I Go?

Fear not, blogophere, I have not disappeared. This week I find myself in Central, South Carolina. "Where?" you ask. A town called Central in the upstate where the campus of Southern Wesleyan University is located. I'm here as the camp speaker, spending the week with 200 students in 7th-12th grade. It's been a long time since I've been to camp, but much like previous camp experiences I'm encountering God in new ways and this week especially I'm enjoying the incredibly powerful worship with Jamin and our Ashley Ridge band.

I've realized and remembered in our time here how fortunate we are as a church with the musicians we have, but even more so the hearts of those who lead us in worship. In other words, Jamin has been rocking the house up here - y'all would be proud!

I'm off to find out what's happening at rec today, but in case any were concerned or had given up on me, I'm still around.

Keep looking for God to show up and surprise you in the most unusual places and incredibly ordinary ways!

"The Gospel for iGens"

I read this article last summer and I came back today in preparation for a week of talking to teenagers next week at the Breeze conference. It's incredibly helpful and I definitely encourage you to read it!

For those of you who are reading this blog b/c you prefer reading the synopsis version, let me do what I can to quickly summarize:

Scot McKnight argues that different generations need to hear the Gospel differently. He focuses specifically on the emerging adult generation (18-30 year olds - including me) which grew up on Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street. Our upbringing was filled with what many call the "self-esteem movement." Mr. Rogers taught "I am okay." Sesame Street took it a step further and taught "We're all okay." As a result, we have a generation that feels pretty good about itself and therefore doesn't connect with the message that we are sinners in need of a Savior, hence Jesus. We need a different starting place.

McKnight says, "If this generation likes Jesus, and if iGens have the chutzpah to think they are like Jesus, then let's start with Jesus." In other words, to reach today's 20-somethings we need to start with Jesus' life and his passion to reach the least, the last and the lost. "Nothing mesmerizes iGens like the kingdom vision of Jesus."

This isn't new. Check out how Paul preached to the Greeks, who thought they were pretty cool.

The Gospel message doesn't change, but the way we share it must.

"I'm like 99.9% parched here. I need a cola."

Anybody? Anybody? That's from the movie "Just Like Heaven" and it's said by the same guy who played Napoleon in Napoleon Dynamite (lights just went on all over the blogosphere).

You know the feeling he's talking about? The feeling of being so dehydrated that you can't even produce any more spit to swallow (okay, maybe that was a little gross). Anyway, hydration is key, especially this time of year. I saw on the news yesterday that we need 2-3 glasses of water every time we step outside to stay well-hydrated. Unlike the quote above though, a cola won't work. You see, it matters what we put into our system. Some things though they may be fluid and taste temporarily refreshing, ultimately dehydrate.

So it is with our life and faith. Without Jesus, we have no spit (wait, maybe that didn't come out right). Jesus told the woman at the well in John 4:14 that if we drink the water he has to give us, we will never be thirsty. However, if we continue to look for refreshment and renewal and life in other places, we will always be thirsty and always be searching.

We can spend so much of our life thirsty and not knowing how to quench our thirst. Jesus says, "Let me take care of that." We need to fill ourselves everyday with Him. We need to realize we're parched and go to the only One who can meet our every need.

Are you parched? When's the last time you visited Jesus' well?

After the Message

Is God looking to have an encounter with you and you’re missing it, or if you’re being really honest, you’re not looking for it and maybe even avoiding it?

What if God sees how I’m living? What if God wants to change something I don’t want to change? What if God wants me to do something I don’t want to do?

I Samuel 3:1-10

v. 1 – Samuel grew up in the Temple, learning from Eli to be a minister

- in those days, the word of the Lord was rare, not many visions – no explanation, but I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest it wasn’t because God disappeared

vv. 4-6 – Samuel doesn’t recognize God’s voice

v. 7 – Samuel did not yet know the Lord, kind of funny when you think about where he spent all of his time – how many of us show up, go through the motions, but do not know the Lord?

v. 8 – “Boy, if you wake me up one more time.” (this is what Eli’s thinking…), realizes it’s God and tells Samuel to say to the Lord, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

When’s the last time your prayers and your day began with that phrase?

“God, I know you have a plan for my day. Jesus, I know you have saved me for a reason. Instead of me sitting here and telling you how my day is going to go and asking you to sanction it and make it easy, how about I listen and you tell me, your servant, how it’s going to go.”

v. 10 – and so begins Samuel’s life as a spokesman for God

Are you listening for God, or are you kind of okay knowing He’s there and keeping him at a distance so He doesn’t change the way you live your life?

Too many of us are living as Christian atheists – we believe in God, but we live as though He doesn’t exist. (Craig Groeschel)

Today, we’re celebrating freedom – maybe the freedom we most need to exercise is the freedom to speak to God, listen to God and follow Him.

In the coming weeks, we’re going to talk more about what an encounter with God looks like, but today we need to answer the question, do we want one? Are we listening?

I'm a Wimp

Confession One: I rarely bring up the fact that I'm a woman.

Confession Two: Often when I'm out at random places (getting my hair cut, eating out, etc.) and people ask me what I do for a living, I respond, "I work at a church," as opposed to "I'm a pastor." (for a really funny story about this, ask me sometime about an outing I made with friends a few years ago to a Japanese steak house - for the even funnier version, ask Greg Horres to tell the story)

At this point, you may be saying "What is she talking about?" especially in relation to the first confession. Obviously I'm a woman - this is not something I hide, in fact I've come quite a long way from my elementary school tomboy days when I loved to race the boys at recess and took great pride in beating all of them. I now love shoes, massages and girl's nights almost as much as Duke basketball :)

Here's what I'm talking about. I am an evangelical, and in evangelical circles (I'm about to make a big generalization) women who call themselves pastors are often regarded as feminists without any further discussion. For example, in February I went to an incredible conference for church planters and after registering online as a church planter I received an e-mail invitation to the luncheon for pastor's wives that was being held on the second day and at registration when we arrived, I was asked if Jamin, our church's worship leader, was my husband.

I don't want women in ministry to be the issue I'm known for and I fear being branded as a crazy feminist by those who wouldn't have the chance to get to know me and see beyond that initial label.

Why am I writing about this today? There is a great discussion happening over at Carlos Whitaker's blog on this subject that I would love y'all to check out. Thank you Carlos for facilitating this discussion!

I'll share more on this subject another day, but for now I'm going to stop hiding from who God has made me and what God has called me to do in everyday conversation. I'm not a woman pastor, but I am a pastor who happens to be a woman and I love, love, love what God has called me to do and I'm thankful for the privilege and opportunity to proclaim Jesus Christ!!

Friends, Boundaries and Other Thoughts

I'm thinking about friends today for several reasons: First, one of my very best friends is moving away tomorrow. Ross Chellis is heading to Hampton, South Carolina to be the pastor of Hamption and Varnville UMC. He won't be that far away, but far enough that he won't be able to join me at a text's notice for lunch or read my face and know when I have a situation I need to discuss. I will miss him, but I am thankful for him and so excited to see all that will happen as God uses him in ministry in a new place. Hampton and Varnville - good luck, your lives will never be the same :) I'm also thinking about friends because another friend of mine, Greg over at I'm Just Sayin' posted a blog yesterday on friendship.

So, here are a few of my thoughts...

"Don't be friends with people in your church." Before you laugh and think I'm being ridiculous, you should know that this advice is handed out with frequency in seminaries and within clergy circles. I happen to disagree with it.

I've always struggled with this piece of advice. I've heard the people who give it provide rationales that make sense. In fact, I've already found myself in several of the scenarios they've used as cautionary tales. But still...

From the most basic standpoint, I go back to Jesus and then Paul, neither of whom related to people from a distance. In fact, Jesus very specifically called us his friends; and on several occasions Paul spoke intimately to the people and churches he wrote, calling them both friends and partners. Obviously I can't be best friends with everyone in the church, but I think if we're going to meet together and talk about the most important things in our lives, people ought to know that I love them, I care about them and think of them as brothers, sisters, and yes, even friends.

Friends are people we share our lives with. Friends are the people who stand by us and celebrate with us when things are great and get down on their knees and pray with us when we're walking through the scary stuff. (wait, I think I'm describing the church here...). Friends come in all shapes and sizes, and yes, even levels. But, I think we're being inauthentic to close off the category of friends completely and call ourselves a Christian community.

You see, some of those situations I mentioned I've been in because I ignored the pastor/churchmember/friend boundary are some of the very same situations that have forced me to confront my own insecurities and pushed me to a new level of sincerity in my life, faith and relationships. They're situations that have demanded some painful conversations, but if we skip those conversations, what do we have and how do we grow?

Friendships, like marriages and all other relationships of value, aren't easy. They're often uncomfortable, demanding and impossible to manage. But, today, I thank God that He calls me friend and I thank God for all of the people I feel privileged to call friends!

After the Message

Yesterday we finished the "One Prayer" series with a video message from Craig Groeschel, the senior pastor of Lifechurch.tv and the initiator of "One Prayer." Craig's message was simply that "the path to our greatest potential is often straight through our greatest fear." We are surrounded everyday by our fears, but our God is bigger than all of our fears.

We started this Unstoppable series with a perspective reminder of how big God is (anybody still have their golf ball?). I think we ended in the same place - our God is huge, so much bigger than our fears.

Where is God calling you to be unstoppable? What's stopping you? Who is your God?

If the last answer is Jesus, then the second answer is nothing and I would love to hear your answer to the first!

God Says "Yes." We say "Amen."

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ. And so through him the 'Amen' is spoken by us to the glory of God." ~ 2 Cor. 1:20

Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents said things like "when I say 'jump,' you say 'how high?'" Well, this is sorta kindof like that, but much, much cooler. In Jesus, God has fulfilled every promise in heaven and earth to you and me. As a response, we don't get to second-guess God or rationalize with God or put God's plan on a chart to make sure it works for us. Instead, we say "amen" in a way that is acted out in our life as a true "so be it."

Let me give you an example. When Jesus says, "I promise to be with you always." We don't say, "That's cool, I'd like to make appointments for these days and times, but I'm pretty sure I have these other areas covered, so I'll check back with you when I need you." No, we say, "So be it." And then we live our lives as though Jesus is with us always and therefore we can do more than anyone on this world thought possible or imaginable so that in everything, God gets the glory.

When's the last time you relied so completely on God's promise to care for you that you did something your family and friends told you was nuts? It's when we get so uncomfortable and so dependent on God, that God steps up to the plate and fulfills His promises in a way the world cannot deny. Too often, we live inside the bounds and then we take credit for the things that work in our life. What if we started living out-of-bounds in our world, trusting God's 'yes' and pointing back to Him. Athletes do it all the time when they score and we think it's cool. Your co-workers might laugh at you for awhile, but I challenge you to let God's 'yes' to their life break through while you keep living an exorbitant 'Amen!'

Why Worship?

I grew up as a pastor's kid - Sunday morning worship wasn't optional. God called me into ministry - again, Sunday morning...not optional. I have always lived in the world where worship is simply part of the week. It isn't an enormous effort to go or something that would even occur to me as an option for consideration. It simply is.

It occurred to me recently that not everyone has the same story (I know, one of those rare moments of non-self-centeredness we humans experience from time to time). It made me wonder if I would go to worship every week if I wasn't the pastor's kid or the pastor. I would like to think the answer is yes, but the only thing I can base that on is my four years of college when I wasn't under my parent's direct purview or on a church's payroll and I still went to worship every week. I'm not looking for a gold star here, I get my genetic and habitual presets, I'm just sayin'...

Anyway, since it is summer and the temptation to not worship seems greater, I thought I would take a moment to offer a few reasons why we worship so that the next morning you wake up and ask "Why?" you have some motivators to push you to worship over the extra sleep/boat/beach/pool/to-do list/or whatever else seems more engaging or pressing at the moment. Here goes:

1. God is worthy of all the worship we can give. He created us. He loves us. He provides for us. He saves us from our selfishness, foolishness and daily bad decisions. He forgives us. He gave us Jesus. Enough said.

2. Worship is what we were created to do. You know those moments where everything in your life seems to feel right or in place? Those are the moments we're living fully into our design - a design to know our Creator. It can happen in lots of times and places, but none more so than in times and places of worship. I don't know about you, but in my chaotic life, I crave those moments where things make sense - why miss the place I know it happens?

3. Worship reminds us that we're part of something much bigger than ourselves. It's easy to get caught up in our own world and develop tunnel vision. That's great when things are going well, but when things aren't going so well, it's easy to get despondent. In worship, we see other people who may have an encouraging story to tell of where God has been active in their life. In worship, we read Scripture together that reminds us of God's faithfulness and Jesus' incredible love for us.

4. Worship is an opportunity to say thank you to Jesus for saving our lives and drawing us back to the God who is love. I do a lot of meaningless things in my week, including the hours of mindless television I watch and the solitaire I play on my phone at night to make my brain stop working so I can fall sleep. It's nice to do something with so much meaning to start the week and to start each day.

I could go on, but you get the point. I'm not writing this as a guilt trip for all the times you may have missed worship (I don't have perfect attendance either). Instead I want to encourage you for all the opportunities you have in front of you to worship. Worship is a gift from God - an opportunity to be with Him, and there's no better place in heaven or on earth!

After the Message

Unstoppable Ashley Ridge

Are we fighting an unstoppable God or

are we part of God’s unstoppable movement?

Other people are inconvenient…

Which is why most of us are slacktivists (a term coined by Don Miller in his May 6 blog post). A slacktivist is someone who finds the most convenient way to help others, or perhaps better said, the least inconvenient way to help others.

Luke 10:25-37 – a slactivist’s story (and an anti-slactivist's story

v. 25 – expert in the law, i.e. that guy who memorized his Bible and uses it as a weapon

v. 29 – but he wanted to justify himself, i.e. feel good about himself, add a gold star to his chart

vv. 33-35 – the anti-slactivist who embraced inconvience for the sake of another person

God chose inconvenience for the sake of you and me – Jesus left heaven and came to earth, God moves mountains if it means reaching us

“Go and do likewise” – choose people over convenience

At Ashley Ridge, we could start a bunch of programs and you could give money to those programs and show up every now and then to help out and we would all feel better about ourselves, but what if it weren’t quite so convenient – what if actually started to share our lives? What if we took seriously Jesus instructions to go and do likewise?

Maybe that’s how the world will know our God is the God who saves.

Take a Listen

I decided to break form today and share one of my favorite artists with y'all. His name is Foy Vance and he is an Irish musician. One of my life goals is to go to Ireland and see Foy Vance play live in a pub. What can I say - I'm a sucker for guys who can sing and play the guitar. (I could really embarrass Clark here and share with y'all about him sitting with me by the ocean and playing his guitar and singing for me on one of our early dates, but I won't do that - oh wait, just did :)

Foy Vance is not identified as a Christian musician, but, like myself, he is a pastor's kid. His music has an unmistakeable theme of hope that is somehow haunting and incredibly authentic. My favorite song is called "First of July" that talks about heartache but it carries the constant refrain "but that was the end of June and this is the first of July." We all have moments, days and sometimes seasons of frustration, anxiety, and hurt, but we always have hope that another season is coming and God walks with us through it all. I included my husband's favorite Foy song below called "Indiscriminate Act of Kindness" - enjoy!

After the Message

Unstoppable Church

I John 4:7-12

Are we fighting an unstoppable God or part of God’s unstoppable movement?

Annual Conference – doesn’t always make me very excited about the church

Debating pensions and budgets and organizational charts, closing local

churches - it can be discouraging

How do we know the Church isn’t dying or lost?

1. Jesus is the foundation – may change forms, we may make a mess of things on our own, but Jesus cannot be stopped

2. Where there is love, there is God and there is the Church of Jesus Christ

I John 4:7-12

Since God loved us, we also ought to love one another. If we love one

another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us

Here's one way we're being the Church...

Rwanda

- passion for me started about 4-5 years ago

- the world watched as love overcame the worst humanity had to offer

- Land of 1000 Hills Coffee – largest cash crop in Rwanda is coffee

o 500 orphans in Bukonya, 280 in child-led homes, 95% of the orphans show signs of malnutrition

o $30,000 will start the initial sustenance farm to feed the orphans in Bukonya

Ashley Ridge Church will give $15,000 to Bukonya over the course of the next 6 months, starting this week with a check for $7,500

*And, start praying now about whether God is calling you to be part of our Summer 2011 Team that will travel to Bukonya, Rwanda

“If we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.”

Step One to being part of God's unstoppable movement is loving each other in real, tangible, life-giving ways because that’s how God loves us

Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

(Yes, that is a "Dumb and Dumber" reference - my apologies to those of you whose humor is more refined :)

When my son is fussy or discontent with his current situation he scrunches his face and makes a sound halfway between a yell and a grunt. It's his way of communicating "I'm not happy!!!" but it's also his uninhibited attempt at working out his frustration and releasing tension. He can't explain it to me, but I think he feels better after yelling and not just because he's made his feelings known. It's an actual release.

Sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable as an adult to express my frustration in a similar manner. On the other hand, how annoying would it be to walk around and have people constantly yelling out. But this also leads me to think, how much do we hold in on any given day? Do we exponentially increase our stress levels by suppressing our thoughts, feelings and emotions?

I'm at a conference this week where the comment was made at a break that you can tell we're a dysfunctional community because we don't fight enough. Our discussions are civil and restrained and then we gather in corners to vent. As a result, nothing is solved, tensions aren't released and we walk away with more wrinkles and frown lines.

How many marriages are like this? Businesses? Parent/Teen relationships? What if we stopped learning to stop fighting and instead learned to fight better? I'm not talking about punching and yelling. I'm talking about honest and respectful disagreement, a forum to be honest about our frustration without fearing ostracism - loving each other enough to risk upsetting the status quo.

I'm as guilty as the next person. Too often I wait until I can't control my anger to express my dissatisfaction and the results are never good. I'm resolving to start sharing my feelings while I'm still in control - how about you?

How do you deal with frustration? How do you express dissatisfaction in ways that produce actual results instead of shared misery?

Rejection

I woke up this morning with a clear sense of what was on my plate for the day. I had two meetings scheduled for the morning and the agendas for both clearly organized in my head and on my iPhone (the note-taking app being one of my favorites). Long story short - both meetings were canceled due to conflicts from the other parties - I was rejected. So I did what any other affirmation-seeking, extroverted-thinking person would do - I contacted a few other people to set up a new meeting over lunch.

Healthy? ...Maybe. On the one hand, I recognized my need for input and feedback from others and I sought it out. My lunch meeting was incredibly valuable and I greatly appreciated my friends with administrative gifts helping me out in an area that I tend to avoid. (I like preaching and teaching and writing - I'm still in administrative training wheels that need to come off quickly). On the other hand, I fell back into the habit of taking rejection personally.

Every time someone visits the church and doesn't come back, I immediately assume it was because of me. The truth is, sometimes it is because of me. However, just as often it was some other circumstance or situation that led them away or elsewhere. But, nevertheless, I take it personally. I lose sleep and I begin thinking about what I can do to be more likable and popular and before I know it, I'm in all-out people-pleasing mode.

A friend asked me this weekend what my greatest personal challenge has been so far in planting a church. The answer - getting over myself and learning to deal with rejection. People rejected Jesus, why do I think everyone should accept me? And if I'm working for affirmation, I'm not working to please God and that's just not cool.

This is and will continue to be a growth curve for me. I like to be liked and I think I'm a pretty likable person. But, there will always be people who don't like me or don't agree with me or don't make time for me or don't want to be part of what I'm doing for whatever reason. I'm learning that's okay and even healthy. And, if I can continue to work to please God, hopefully my friends won't have to put it so much overtime building me back up.

After the Message

Are we fighting an unstoppable God or part of God's unstoppable movement?

Our God is huge and unstoppable and His pursuits include righteousness, justice and, above all, you and me!

We're going to spend the rest of the month talking about being part of God's unstoppable movement as part of the One Prayer movement. But, if you missed yesterday and you need your perspective updated on how big and unstoppable God is, please check out Louie Giglio's "How Great is Our God" tour on youtube.

Louie has had an incredible ministry worldwide reaching out to college students as part of the Passion movement and now he is planting Passion City Church in Atlanta. He does an amazing job re-sizing our understanding of God - check it out!

Veritas

I mentioned yesterday that Clark and I drove to Cambridge, Massachusetts last week to attend his brother and sister-in-laws graduation from Harvard. I had been to Yale and Princeton, but this was my first trip to Harvard. As you would expect, it was beautiful and full of history. We went for a run by the Charles River and I got to re-enact the running scene from "With Honors." I felt smarter just being there.

Anyway, the Harvard mantra is Veritas, which means truth. The word is printed all over campus on every post, pillar and written document. As we went from ceremony to ceremony the speakers reflected on truth and what this means and how we understand it and how we seek it. No one said anything about Jesus. It started to really bug me by the end of the festivities (it's not like I was expecting it, but still...). It was at the moment of my greatest irritation when I made a stunning discovery that put everything back in perspective.

The graduation was set up on the steps of Memorial Chapel in the middle of Old Harvard Yard. They had blocked the front doors and pillars with a backdrop and there was a huge tent spanning over the platform, podium and speakers. There were trees throughout the yard so looking straight ahead all you could see was what looked like the front of an assembly. However, if you let your eyes wander straight up, rising high above the trees, into the sky and far above the heads of the esteemed speakers was the high steeple adorned with the cross of Jesus Christ.

The ultimate irony. Unspoken and unacknowledged as some of the brightest minds in our world reflected on truth was the cross rising high above. I smiled and I think I even giggled a little to myself.

We can deny God, we can ignore God, we can pretend to have the world figured out separate and apart from God, but God is always there. Veritas = Jesus.

So Much to Say...

I've learned that when there's so much to say and so much to catch up on, it's usually best to keep it brief and spread it out over time.

In the last week and a half, I celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary with my husband, made Ashley Ridge Church worship outside in 90 degree heat for Pentecost (trying to drive home the point that we shouldn't aim to be comfortable as a church, I think it worked :), drove from Summerville to Boston by way of Richmond, Pennsylvania and New York City to see family and ultimately witness my brother-in-law and sister-in-law graduate from Harvard Law School and Ed School (huge congrats to both on their incredible accomplishment, and even more on their desire to use their degrees to be public servants in the truest sense - so proud!!), and celebrated Memorial Weekend by marrying a remarkable young woman and man who is deploying to Afghanistan in August and spending time with friends out on their boats.

All in all, it's been busy and crazy and wonderful in so many different ways. I find God showing up and reminding me of things in places I never expect. So, in short, thank you God for always being a million steps ahead of me and yet right beside me every step of the journey.

After the Message

Mama Said, “Say Please”

Matthew 7:7-11

Finishing “Mama Said” – simple instructions we understood as a child that seemingly get more difficult/complicated as we get older

Say Please…Asking for things

Matthew 7:7-8

As kids, we’re good at it – and not only are we good at it, we learn a simple lesson that, for the most part, getting what we need is as simple as asking and using the word “please”

It doesn’t seem as easy as we get older. Oh, we still ask, we just don’t get what we think we need nearly as often – usually b/c we’re asking for more than a bike or a piece of candy

20-year old girl praying for her mom to find a great son-in-law

Parents praying for healing for their sick child

Everyday, you and me praying for help, praying for salvation, praying for

answers that don’t seem to come

Matthew 7:9-11 – are we asking for good gifts, or are we asking for easy answers?

It’s easy to confuse “good gifts” with getting what we want. And too often we either don’t get what we want and after awhile we stop asking; or, we ask, but for the most part we’ve figured out how to meet our own needs so our asking is for show or habit more than anything else and we settle for okay gifts instead of good gifts.

Need to work from the core conviction that above all things God loves us – and if we who understand only a glimpse of love give good gifts, how much more so does the God who is love give good gifts!

After the Message

We spend so much time searching for comfort – comfort food, comfort clothes, comfortable people, air conditioning

Acts 2:1-13 – What in the world? This is uncomfortable, and it continues…

Acts 2:14-21

Not only are we not often there as a church, we’re not even sure we want to be there

Let’s be honest, someone starts speaking in tongues this morning and I’m a little

freaked out

And so, we search for comfort…

Ashley Ridge Church, are we already comfortable?

We’ve created a great environment, great music, great coffee, it feels good, it looks good, it sounds good (people ask me all the time, “how’s it going?” and I have lots of great things to tell them)

But the truth is, this isn’t good enough. We ought to be uncomfortable b/c it’s no longer just about what Jesus has done, now it’s what He’s going to do through us…and that’s not comfortable

For the sake of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and those He came to save, are we willing to be a Pentecost church?

The "E" Word

One of my son's favorite books is the old Sesame Street book with Grover called "There's a Monster at the End of this Book." Grover spends the whole book trying to keep you from turning the next page so you don't get to the monster, only to get there and discover that he, the lovable and friendly Grover, is the monster at the end of the book and there was no reason to be afraid.

In keeping with that idea, I would like to warn you now that at the end of this post I'm going to challenge you to share your faith - I know, you're already sweating.

Evangelism has become a very taboo word in many of our churches - it's that thing the scary churches do. We associate it with the tracts about hell that are left in bathroom stalls and the people who stand on street corners yelling or the people that go door-to-door. Don't get me wrong. I find those practices as alarming as everyone else - alarming and ineffective. Nevertheless, we've let those negative examples be our excuse for not sharing our faith.

I do it as a pastor with people who've taken enough initiative to visit the church. I don't want to come on too strong, or talk about faith too quickly and thus get labeled or perceived as the scary, stalker pastor. So, I just act friendly and assume they'll ask me if they want to know anything about Jesus.

Here's our hold-up (aside from the scary evangelism tactics that have turned us off), we think that sharing our faith means we have to give someone a long, drawn-out, thorough explanation of who Jesus is, how Jesus works, what the Bible means and more. We think we have to know everything and have a great way to explain it.

This isn't true. We simply need to take the opportunity to invite people to experience something that has been powerful, important and life-changing to us. We can't have the experience for them, but we can invite them to the party.

Donald Miller says it this way: "Introducing somebody to Jesus is not about presenting ideas, then, as much as it is introducing the person to a Diety who lives and interacts. Evangelism, then, looks like setting somebody up on a blind date: God does the work, we just tell them about him and where they can find him."

It's not pushy and it's not about how much we can memorize. It's as simple as inviting someone to worship with you or, better yet, taking a genuine interest in someone else's life and story.

So, here it comes, the challenge: Think of someone you know who doesn't go to church, or even someone who does go to church but doesn't know Jesus - take your friendship to the next level (see yesterday's post) and take the risk of inviting them to come to worship or small group with you - point them to an opportunity to experience God for themselves.

I think you might find it's not as hard or scary as you think.

(And if you're the competitive type and need extra motivation, Jamin is trying to invite 25 people to worship before Sunday, and he's monitoring his progress by handing out our Ashley Ridge cards that have a place on the back for you to write your name and number - I'm looking for someone to show up on Sunday having invited more than 25 people! - But remember, the ultimate goal isn't quantity, it's building quality relationships that lead to the highest quality relationship with Jesus!)

Am I Worthy to be Jesus' Friend?

Right now, my Bible reading has me in the book of Ephesians along with the end of Judges. In Ephesians 4:1, Paul says, "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." He goes on to talk about how some of us are called to be apostles, others prophets and so on. But the thing that jumped into my brain that I can't get rid of is that Jesus told his disciples in John 15:15 that he no longer called them servants, he called them friends.

Jesus calls us his friend, which begs the question: Am I living a life worthy of being called Jesus' friend?

Have you ever spent much time around name-droppers? (That would have been a good Seinfeld episode, perhaps it was and I'm just forgetting). Name-droppers are those people who meet someone once or know a friend of a friend of a friend of someone significant, but they act like they're best buddies. Name-droppers are people who feel good using a name when it gives them an advantage, but beyond that they stick it in their file and don't do anything with it.

The truth is that it's really easy to slip into the category of name-dropper as opposed to friend when it comes to our relationship with Jesus. I'm not proud of it, but this happens to me more than I like to admit.

Here's another way to put it. In the book "Same Kind of Different as Me", a wealthy white man asks a homeless black man to be his friend. The homeless man tells him he will need to think about it. The wealthy man is taken aback by the response, but the homeless man takes his question very seriously and spends a few weeks considering it. When he comes back to respond, he asks the man if it's true that when white people fish do they really "catch-and-release." He tells him that the idea really bothers him because everyone he knows that fishes does it to survive and wouldn't dream of dropping a fish because they had no need for it. Then he looks at the white man and tells him he won't be his friend if he's going to catch-and-release, but if he truly wants to be his friend, then he'll agree to it and be his friend forever.

Jesus calls us his friends and you don't have to read much further to know that Jesus is not in the catch-and-release business. Jesus was in the whole-way-to-the-cross-lay-down-your-life-for-a-friend business.

Are we going after that kind of friendship with Jesus or are we settling for being name-droppers? Paul urges us to be more.

Loving the Unlovable

I don't know who you have trouble loving, but here are some of the people on my current top 10 list:

- the guy on the infomercial selling mineral water that is "anointed" so if you BUY it and drink it all of your debt will be miraculously erased

- the people who call themselves Christians and spend their Sunday mornings protesting outside of other churches with signs that say things like "God hates people that _______." (I've read the Bible several times and I've never read anything about the people God hates.)

- the people taking hatchets into schools in China, using them to hurt and kill little children

- the people kidnapping 5-year old girls and using them in the sex trade

...this list could go on and on.

It's interesting in some ways because, if I'm honest, there are people on death row who I could find a way to love a lot more easily than the guy on the infomercial blatantly misrepresenting Jesus and people who follow Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I get that I'm being self-righteous by loving people who haven't directly impacted my life and thus feeling good about my forgiveness-meter while despising the people who make my life and my job and my convictions more difficult. In addition to being self-righteous, that's also called hypocrisy because I preach forgiveness all the time and only practice it when it's convenient.

And so, I'm constantly convicted by the fact that Jesus loves every person on my unlovable list - even the guy going out of his way to make Him look bad. Jesus says in Matthew 5, "Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you."

Here's the thing, I don't have to love, like or condone a lot of what people do - there's even such a thing as righteous anger. But I do have to love people and see far enough to know that they are fellow children of God and people in need of God's grace just like me.

Who are you wasting time and energy hating today? What unlovable moments has God loved you through lately?

After the Message

Mama Said, Part 2 - "Say You're Sorry"

Here’s the thing – very few of us have mamas following us around all the time as adults, and even teenagers. Which means, for most of us, no one is following us around at home, at work, or at school and calling us out on our junk, making us say we’re sorry.

It’s hard to say you’re sorry – it’s humiliating. It’s also interesting how we make our kids say it all the time, but as adults we very rarely use those words. We self-justify, we ignore, we move on. After all, saying sorry makes us look weak and vulnerable, right?

We all do things we should be sorry about from time to time, and how we deal with those things matters eternally.

2 Corinthians 7:8-13,

Paul had a very special relationship with the Corinthians – often to their dismay and discomfort, Paul didn’t let them get away with stuff and called them out on their junk

- Godly sorrow leads to repentance, which leads to salvation.

How man times do we say “I’m sorry” and simply move on?

- their “I’m sorry” didn’t make them look weak, it made them look human and passionate and responsible

We can spend our whole lives brushing things aside and pretending “I’m okay, you’re okay,” but that’s to deny that we are human. We are human. We all make mistakes. We all do things and say things we regret. We have two choices:

1. Pretend they never happened and move on, tucking them away in our box of regret

2. Acknowledge we’re humans in the need of a gracious God who sent us a Savior to drive our sins away once and for all – in other words, deal with our sin and let Jesus’ forgiveness make us clean and new and more able to do and be all that we were called to do and to be

"Same Kind of Different as Me"

by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

It's been awhile since I've written about books I'm reading, but I couldn't let this one pass by. After numerous recommendations, I picked up the book "Same Kind of Different as Me" last week and read it. It was exceptional! I'm not going to tell you much of what it's about because I really want to encourage as many people as possible to read it.

I will tell you this much, it's a story about what happens when our faith in God becomes more than a Sunday event. It's about faith in action - the kind of action that leads to dirt under the fingernails and not just a nice plaque on a wall. It's about the power of Jesus to transform lives - homeless lives, wealthy lives, our lives. It's about what happens when we get truly relational and decide to love our neighbors like Jesus said.

I walked away from the book convicted and excited - not just to do more, but to do better. Do you know what I mean? I'm talking about the fact that I do a lot of stuff, but my heart isn't always in it, my motives aren't always to dig deeper and know God more, but instead to make it through. That's boring, that's meaningless (as Solomon points out repeatedly in Ecclesiastes). I want to do everything for the purpose of loving the God who made me and loving the people He loves. And that includes everything from washing dishes to preparing a message for Sunday morning. It includes talking to my neighbor across the street who lends us soy sauce when we need it and talking to the annoying people at the pool who sit in the corner and smoke.

Read the book - you might get something totally different out of it, but I promise it will be worth it.

The Day the Salsa Died

At the risk of being overly dramatic (read "exaggeration coming for purposes of conveying my point"), my heart broke last week when the manager of the Summerville Moe's told me they would no longer be making their mango salsa. The mango salsa was AMAZING (see this post). I loved Moe's before mango salsa and I will continue to love Moe's in the post-mango era, but there will forever be a void without the mango salsa. It was new, it was different, it was the perfect combination of fruit, vegetable and cilantro goodness, but now it has been tossed aside and replaced by the roasted corn salsa (also good, but nowhere near the level of the mango).

Interestingly, when the mango salsa was introduced I used it as an opportunity to wax eloquent on the necessity of change and the importance of mixing things up. I would be a hypocrite to use its demise to lament inevitable change.

You see, we all herald change when we want things to be different, but as soon as things are to our liking, we're done changing. It's the height of hypocrisy and we all do it.

And so, it's time for a gut check (myself in the greatest need). We're rocking and rolling at Ashley Ridge - things are going great! I don't have to make anything up when people ask how the church is going. I can brag for hours about the power of the Spirit, the people, the passion, the outreach and more. But, we're only 4 months in and so far we've successfully created something we love...and now, the change process begins. I can't promise a lot of things on our journey, but I can promise that Jesus will be our constant and everything else will change throughout the course of time. It has to, it must, it's an inherent feature of living organisms - and make no mistake, the body of Christ is a living, breathing, unstoppable force.

We can't afford to get comfortable with what we like, especially if our purpose is to ignite passion for Jesus Christ. When He is the one waking us up in the morning and setting our hearts on fire we will always be changing, being made new and stretching far beyond our comfort zones.

And so, farewell sweet mango salsa, you enhanced and enriched my life. Next adventure, here I come!

After the Message

Mama said, “Say thank you.” To this day, calls to see if I’ve written thank you notes. But, the thank you my mama was talking about was in response to something someone said or did for me – makes sense

I Thessalonians 5:18, Paul told us to give thanks in all circumstances - I get that we should be thankful people – lot to be thankful for, but to give thanks in all circumstances seems more than extreme

Surely he didn’t mean today’s circumstances…

Flood in Nashville, senseless murder at UVA, oil spill in Gulf Coast, bad economy, bomb scare in NY

Surely he didn’t mean "mine"…

No job, marriage in trouble, kids misbehaving, mortgage payment behind, scary medical diagnosis, etc

Really, Paul, I’ll give thanks for a lot of things I should be thankful for, but this?? They don’t make a Hallmark card for this

Only possible if we read the whole verse, “for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Without Jesus, no hope, no future and no reason to give thanks when times get tough. With Jesus, in the best and worst, we have hope and a reason to give thanks

So, we give thanks that we can be "pressed down but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed" (2 Cor 4:8-9)

Having a forest perspective - we get into bad situations and think, “how could God let this happen and not do anything about it?” He did do something about it and His name is Jesus.

Give thanks in all circumstances, not b/c all circumstances are good, but because God has redeemed the best and the worst in Jesus Christ.

Prayers

It's National Day of Prayer and everywhere churches and communities are gathering to pray for our nation and its leaders. Many of these prayers are eloquent and prepared with a lot of thought and consideration. Many are simple yet fervent prayers prayed in the hearts of those who are hurting in places like Nashville, the Gulf Coast and the University of Virginia.

My favorite prayer of the day so far is the one shared by a friend who prayed early this morning, "Dear God, it's National Day of Prayer and I know there are lots of people waiting to talk to you, so this morning, I'll be brief."

The prayer I'll pray with Jacob tonight as I put him to bed goes something like this:

"Thank you Jesus for another day - for time to learn and grow and play. Be with all of the world you made, my family and friends and those in need. Bring me safely through the night to serve you in the morning light."

No matter what you pray today, let it be a sincere conversation with the God who made us all and holds us in the palms of His hands.

And make sure you do it again tomorrow - after all, every day is a day of prayer.

A Prayer

God, today I'm willing to do whatever you ask. Today, I am making myself completely open and available to you. Open my eyes to see you and hear you. Give me courage to go to the places where you send me and even more courage to go to the people you send me to meet. Jesus, as you have given your life for me, let me give my life to you. All that I have and all that I am is yours.

Accountability is More than Asking Questions

I've been talking A LOT lately about small groups, community and accountability - don't expect this to change anytime soon :) God is a relational God who created us to live in relationship with Him and with each other. We were designed to need each other. We were not designed to function as self-sufficient islands.

A big part of our need for each other is accountability. We are imperfect, sinful people; but, by the grace of God, we don't have to stay that way. Jesus made a way for us to be made new and overcome the sin and death we fall into all the time. But to consistently choose Jesus, to consistently choose to accept God's grace, to consistently choose to make room for God's Spirit to work in our lives, we need a gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) nudge from our friends.

But here's the thing, true accountability doesn't end with a nudge. Truly holding people accountable to a life of faith and integrity means getting involved in each other's lives, it means being willing to get dirty and even uncomfortable at times.

In his book, "Confessions of a Pastor," Craig Groeschel tells the story of a small group he was in where a woman in the group was an exotic dancer. She didn't want to live that life, but she didn't know how to get out of it. One night as their group gathered a guy in the group shared that he had a major problem with pornography. Instead of everyone pulling away from him, they surrounded him and prayed for him and the guys in the group told him they would help hold him accountable to not looking at those things. The woman watched this with tears in her eyes, and having witnessed the grace that was shown, she decided to share her story. Immediately, the group told her she needed to quit what she was doing, but they also took it a step farther. They told her they would help her find a job and they would help support her financially until she did. In other words, they made it possible for her to do what she needed to do.

It would have been a very different story if the group continued to meet every week and just ask her if she had quit, but never offered to help. I'm guessing that eventually she would have stopped coming b/c it would have felt like a place of guilt instead of a place of freedom - a place of shame instead of a place of grace.

It's not always that dramatic. How many times have you and your friends talked about your need to read your Bible and pray but your inability to find time and make time to do it? Maybe it's time to not just hold each other accountable, but get involved in each other's lives to make the time available. For example, maybe you need to carpool to get your kids to school so your friend can use the time to spend with God. Maybe you can take turns cooking enough for your family and your friend's family so the saved time can be spent with God.

I don't know what's going on in your life and where your weaknesses are, but it's time to share them with someone and it's also time to involve yourself in each other's lives.

A Fabulous Tent

God called Abraham in Genesis and Abraham spent the rest of his life moving from tent to tent as he followed God's lead. God called Paul in Acts and Paul spent the rest of his life moving from tent to tent as he followed God's lead (heck, Paul was a tentmaker). Jesus told those he met, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head. Follow me." (Matthew 8:19-21 and Luke 9:57-59).

These stories are inspirational and motivational, but I admit I was worried heading into the church planting world about the horror stories I'd heard from other planters about being portable. But, my friends, God has been beyond good to us and today we meet in what I think is the best "tent" anywhere. Take a look...

This is Ashley Ridge High School - the best high school in South Carolina! (This should be especially good news for the person who asked a few weeks ago how we were fitting all the people coming into our trailer for worship :)

God had greater plans than we had thought to imagine when He sent us to start Ashley Ridge Church at Ashley Ridge High School. God knew the plans He had for us to partner with the best principal, the best staff, the best teachers and the best students to make a difference in His kingdom. I get excited every time I drive out to the school b/c of the incredible energy and people who are there.

On Friday I had an opportunity to go and check out the second annual Swampfest at the football stadium - wow! Swampfest is an event put on by the Ashley Ridge students for all of the special needs students in the district from elementary schools, junior high schools and the other high schools. It was amazing to see the students reaching out to their peers and genuinely enjoying the opportunity to do so. It was inspiring to see kids giving their time to bring joy to others. Here are a few pics below, but become a fan of Ashley Ridge High School Swamp Guide on facebook and you can see lots more pictures and hear the powerful stories of what's happening at the school.

Thank you Jesus for a fabulous tent!!!!

After the Message

Final Week of Course Correction:

Setting up for long-term success means surrounding ourselves with wise counsel

Captain Obvious, right?

Solomon was the wisest guy in the world and even he went on and on about getting advice from other people

Proverbs 1:5, 2:2, 4:5, 4:7, 13:10, 16:16, 19:8, 23:23

Whether we know it or admit it, we’re all getting advice from somewhere

Who do we often ask? The people in our life who tell us what we want to hear, or the people who love us enough and are grounded enough to tell us the truth?

It makes a big difference

I Kings 12:1-11 – Rehoboam seeks the advice of those who had counseled his father; rejects their advice and goes with the advice of his buddies – things don’t turn out so well (Rehoboam replaced as king)

v. 6 – we learn two things, 1) Solomon sought advice/counsel; 2) Based on all that Solomon accomplished, we can put a lot of stock in the advice and wisdom of his advisors

v. 8 – Rehoboam rejected the advice of his father’s advisors because it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, and instead sought the advice of some childhood buddies who he knew would tell him what he wanted

Who is speaking wisdom and truth into your life?

Do you have yes-men?

Or, do you have people of faith, people who are walking with Jesus everyday

If you haven’t pro-actively sought wisdom, I promise you you’re getting it from the wrong places.

Let’s talk about the right places:

1. Bible – full of wise guys, “the Lord gives wisdom,” “from the Lord comes wisdom” – Bible only makes sense when you’re reading it as a conversation with God

2. Other people who have the same picture in mind or who have already gotten there; said last week our pursuit is God’s glory (what’s the story you want to tell?), who else is working on the same story? Who has lived the story you want to tell?

3. Come to Jesus